“For a long time there were only your footprints & laughter in our dreams & even from such small things, we knew we could not wait to love you forever.”
It feels like only yesterday that I took the pregnancy test and yelped in disbelief. Thank goodness I was home alone because I really wanted to surprise Marion when I found out… which, if you haven’t seen the YouTube video yet, I managed to do with great success. (Click here to see it again: Surprising Marion: pregnant!)
Over the last 39 weeks, everyone has been asking me how I’m feeling and how the pregnancy is going, and my standard answer has been, “I’m feeling good! I’m doing fine. I’m tired, but good.” These are all true statements. I’m still feeling pretty good. He’s sitting cozy in there. But now that I’m winding down toward the end and washed all the baby clothes, organized every closet, and done everything I could possibly think to do to prep for family leave from work, I wanted to take time to actually write down some things I want to specifically remember about this special time of being pregnant with my little one.
One thing I want to remember is how from the moment I found out I was pregnant, that I felt like baby was going to be a boy. I have no rhyme or reason for this. Marion really wanted a girl and I was just so excited to be pregnant, I didn’t care either way. But I “felt like” it was going to be a boy. It was interesting because a majority of folks thought it was going to be a girl. But one night, I don’t remember how far along, we woke up one morning and Marion turned to me and said, “I had a dream about our baby last night! It was a boy!” This only surprised me because that same night, I also had a dream that we had a baby boy! We were both pretty sure at that point it was going to be a boy…and we were right.
Cravings: I didn’t really have any specific regular food cravings except in the first trimester, I wanted chocolate milk like no one else’s business. It only lasted 2 weeks, but man, was it an intensely satisfying thing to drink chocolate milk! I never bought it regularly before. It was completely random. I had days where I wanted specific foods, but the most notable thing about this pregnancy is that normally, I plan my next meal, knowing what I want to eat. This whole time, I haven’t really wanted to eat anything in particular, but also didn’t have trouble eating once I started. That was weird. Oh, and I LOVED WATERMELON the whole time.
Food Aversions: Only one. Baked chicken. I couldn’t eat chicken, which stunk because it’s a healthy protein. The smell bothered me too. Let me say, I didn’t have trouble eating it if was fried chicken…but even then, it had to be the smallest part of the chicken…like the chicken wing. SO WEIRD.
Total weight gain: I really wish I had started at a healthy weight, but starting overweight managed to get me to really focus on better eating and health, so maybe it all worked out in the end. My total weight gain at this point is 21 pounds. Which is a lot. But not as bad as I thought it would be, and I’m actually pretty happy with it. I also totally thought I would get gestational diabetes, but I didn’t. It was a miracle.
Sleep: I generally sleep pretty well except for the 4 times I have to get up to use the bathroom. I’m used to that now. The maternity pillow has been a life saver! There are nights I wake up and can’t fall back asleep. I’m sure that’s just my own anxiety.
Miss anything: Raw fish and deli meat and regular iced coffee. Oh, and sleeping on my back!
Movement: SO much movement. My belly looks like something is literally trying to come out of it at times…but I also LOVE IT. We had one scare a couple months ago where I hadn’t felt him move in 24 hours and we had to go into the hospital and be monitored. That scared the poop out of Marion. My worst case scenario that day was that I was going to have a baby THAT day. Thank goodness baby was okay. When he started moving like usual again, I spent the next day reprimanding him in my belly: “Seriously, you couldn’t even give Umma ONE little movement and had to scare us like that?!” So, I’m going to be THAT mom.
No morning sickness, a little nausea in first trimester, fatigue is my biggest complaint: Which really is nothing to complain about. And I’m definitely not complaining about it.
Labor signs: Still just the Braxton Hicks on the regular. I had one painful contraction a week ago, but it went away after moving around for a bit. I’ve been experiencing some “cramps” but I can’t tell if it’s anything…and so far it’s nothing.
Happy or moody most of the time: So happy. I know this sounds so cheesy but I honestly find myself smiling more than ever lately. Although, I did read that Brian Andreas quote at the beginning of this post and got choked up. I’m going to be that annoying person that says that I really enjoy being pregnant. (Ask me again if I hit 41 weeks).
Baby’s Dad: Marion has been so great and supportive overall. He has his daddy mood swings sometimes (haha) but every night we manage to have some “family” time and he will scratch my back and/or give me a little head massage, we read books out loud to each other, and baby will let him feel some good movements. I’ve only had leg cramps in the middle of the night twice, and both times, Marion jolted up and helped me massage them out. Marion is so excited to be an Appa, and his positive attitude and joy helps me to keep things in perspective-to really enjoy this time.
My prayer: It’s funny to notice what I’m praying for when I pray for this baby and our family. It’s rarely about the actual labor or birthing process (although I do pray that all goes well! Someone throw in some extra prayers around that for me!) I feel this urgency in my prayers for a kind, generous, and good person to be born. One that will respect all people and work toward goodness and justice in this world. I also pray he is healthy and whole.
Anyway, I’m sure there are going to be other things I want to remember, but that’s what I can think of for now. I’m spending time drinking Philz, sitting outside and writing and reading solo. I’m sure I’m going to miss these days, but I really can’t wait to meet our little one…and to love him forever.